Managing Living LIfe and Househhold Responsibiities - Mom May not have done it this way, But I Am

Growing up, I came home from school to a clean, neat bedroom. My Mom dusted, vacuumed, and made our beds with laundered, ironed sheets.

I grew up watching my mother’s housekeeping habits: how she cared for a home with six children, and a husband. When we were old enough, we were given cleaning responsibilities: dusting and polishing furniture, vacuuming the carpet, “turning” dirty clothes to be laundered, in addition to yard work. We did it all.

As an adult with my own apartment, my weekends were filled with chores to keep my house clean. I found myself implementing habits I saw growing up. I did it all, except iron my bed linens. It was exhausting, but I thought this was what I was supposed to do.

Once I was married, it was like housekeeping was on steroids. Now, laundry doubled, cooking became a strategy and the daily upkeep of our home was non-stop. My personal time was limited, and it seemed Monday came too soon.  “How the hell did she do this with all of us?”  I would ask myself about my mom.

Later, a mentor shared with me that she hired help to get things done around her house to free her time for things she wanted to spend time doing. That included growing a business and spending quality time with family. Curious, I asked her, “What does this help cost and how can I get it?”

After some consideration I decided to hire someone to clean our home once a month. In addition, I decided to take some clothes to the dry cleaners, instead of spending time washing and ironing. These two decisions freed me to explore my gifts, learn new skills, spend time with friends and family, and explore hobbies.

Initially, I felt judged when I shared with some people that I hired someone to clean my house.  I’m over that now.

Recently, a friend shared with me her to-do list to clean her house. Clearly, she hated it because it was time consuming, and she never rested on her days off. I asked if she had considered hiring someone to help and told her about my cleaner. As I braced for a negative comment, she asked me for the number of the person I had hired.

What my friend and I had in common was the desire to spend time doing the things we wanted to do and not get worn out by trying to keep and house clean. Even if that meant resting and doing nothing.

I am not sure my mother would allow someone to clean her house. After all, she cleaned houses when she was younger and might feel some kind of way about it.

Financially, the money to hire help is no less than a date night with my husband at a nice restaurant. This decision allowed me to create more, provide mental clarity, relieve stress, and take away resentment.

If you feel you are bogged down with housework and chores, getting help to free up your time may not look like it does for me. Maybe you have time to iron 5 shirts and not 10. Maybe you don’t enjoy doing yard work like it seems all your neighbors do. Hire a young neighbor trying to make money to care for your lawn.

Let us normalize the notion that we do not have to work as hard as our parents did to maintain a home, work full-time and raise a family. Let us not live a life of sacrificing enjoying life to notion of a perfectly clean home or a pristine yard.

Let’s be okay to ask for help if we need it. And if that is in the form of hiring a housekeeper to free up your time to write a book or launch a business. Let it be so and feel free from judgement.